


like a fire

by aswarmofbees



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Pining, i think this qualifies as pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 10:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4015933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aswarmofbees/pseuds/aswarmofbees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apparently, Kasamatsu could not hold his liquor to save his life, and nobody thought it was a good idea to tell Kise. Not even when he was given the task of accompanying him home and had to keep his heart rate from skyrocketing while Kasamatsu openly flirted with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like a fire

**Author's Note:**

> i posted this on tumblr first but i figured it'd be easier to read on here... it's unnecessarily long but i hope it's still a good read!! i had fun writing it haha

Out of all of them, surprisingly, Kasamatsu was the first to go.

As Kise watched the tips of his ears go red, he realized he shouldn’t have thought that his ex-captain would have a high alcohol tolerance just because he had a tough exterior. Logically, he would have the least strength with liquor because he was the smallest out of all of them, and it would take that much less time for it to go through him. That disconnect between logic and how he knew Kasamatsu personally was hard to shrug off, though.

Then Kasamatsu started to slowly act out of character, and that was when he was sold.

“It’s good that you decided not to drink,” Kasamatsu praised him, reaching up to pat him on the back with more force than necessary. He jerked forward slightly in surprise, and he heard someone chuckle at his misfortune.

“You mean totally _lame,_ ” Moriyama corrected, and Kise leaned back just so Kasamatsu could glare over him at Moriyama. He’d been settled between the two of them, after all.

It was supposed to be a reunion of sorts, with his team back in senior high. Although, it wasn’t really the whole team from Kise’s first year at Kaijou. It was just Kasamatsu, him, and Moriyama on one side, and Hayakawa, Nakamura, and Kobori sitting across from them--only the six of them. Some of the most important people he had the luck of meeting.

Especially Kasamatsu.

“If he doesn’t want to drink, then he doesn’t want to! Let him take care of his liver,” Kasamatsu snapped at his friend, his face a little more flushed than it was before. His hand was (probably unintentionally) pressing into Kise’s thigh as he directed his attention at Moriyama, and it was much more distracting than Kise wanted it to be.

He took in Kasamatsu while his focus was settled elsewhere, admiring the way his features had matured even more over the years. Kasamatsu was twenty-two now, and it had been nearly six months since the last time he had the chance to see his ex-captain in person again. It wasn’t often that their schedules lined up, let alone _all_ of their schedules, so it was genuinely nice to have them all together again. It had him reminiscing.

He had… really missed him. More than was necessary for their strictly platonic relationship. They had definitely progressed further as friends, gotten closer than Kise ever imagined, but that was the extent of it. It ended with the occasional hug, some late night calls when Kise let loose some of his worries and Kasamatsu would help calm him down, and the longing touches and gazes Kise subtly sent his way as if it would somehow lead to that ‘something more’ that he’d wanted since high school.

It never did though. Kise knew it wouldn’t.

Kise had nearly confessed to Kasamatsu when he graduated, too, eying that one button on his uniform as if it held the weight of his entire world. It took all of the courage he had left to pull him aside, lead him somewhere private because it was important. When he actually managed to look Kasamatsu in the eye, the words brimming in the column of his throat got caught, and his determination ran empty with no hopes of dragging his confession out into the air. He had backed out at the last minute, his mind a fog of second-guessing and self-doubt and too much ruminating over possible outcomes that all he managed to choke out was a teary, “I’m glad you were my captain.”

Kasamatsu had looked confused at that, expecting something different, but he let out a fond smile regardless, reaching up to ruffle Kise’s hair. His eyes were soft and genuine when he replied with heartfelt, “I’m glad I was, too.”

Just that was enough for the tears to finally spill over, splashing onto his cheeks as sobs shook in his chest, loud and crippling. It took Kasamatsu holding him for ten minutes before he could calm himself down, crying _please don’t go_ and _I’ll miss you_ and _I wanted to win with you_ and _it won’t be the same without you_ and _youyouyou_ until his throat was parched and he couldn’t even speak anymore.

To this day, he still remembered vividly the tremble in Kasamatsu’s voice as he told him how proud of him he was, and that he was looking forward to how much more Kise could and would improve even when he wasn’t there.

And Kise remembered how much regret swamped his very soul when he realized he wasn’t able to say what he really wanted to.

Kasamatsu suddenly leaned too heavily into Kise and his hand slipped off of his leg, just narrowly avoiding nailing him in the crotch. Kise yelped as he all but fell into his lap, his shoulder and part of his back thudding against his chest. Kasamatsu’s reaction was delayed, and he groaned slowly as if he wasn’t pressed against Kise, making no move to adjust their positions.

Moriyama laughed and Kise panicked, and then Moriyama laughed at Kise’s panic as Kise attempted to ease Kasamatsu back to his own seat without anyone noticing the shake of his hands and the brightness in his cheeks.

“God, you’re already shit-faced,” Moriyama chortled, jumping when Kobori threw a bundled napkin in his direction to stop him from laughing. He practically pouted. “What? I just--somehow I’m always surprised by how quickly he goes--it’s like a new record each time.”

Kobori rolled his eyes goodnaturedly, sending an apologetic smile in Kise’s direction. “He also didn’t eat yet, so I’m not surprised he’s already tipsy,” Kobori added, as if they weren’t discussing a person that was right in front of him.

“Oh fuck,” Kasamatsu muttered angrily as he shifted into a more comfortable position. “I didn’t eat anything, did I? Fuck. Shit.”

He tilted forward until his forehead smacked onto the table, and the sound sent Moriyama howling. Hayakawa prodded at his head, asking if he was okay, and Nakamura just looked entirely weirded out by the whole experience.

After about another ten minutes, Kasamatsu announced that he was going to get refills at the bar, and Moriyama immediately followed by saying that he’d come as well, just to make sure Kasamatsu didn’t trip and hit his head like the inebriated mess he was. As if out of spite, Kasamatsu departed quicker than necessary, determined to leave his friend in the dust.

Kise’s conversation with the rest of them was pleasant, with the occasional increase in volume with Hayakawa, or when a clever joke slipped into the topic and Kise had to cover his mouth just to avoid a bout of obnoxious laughter. He could tell that Nakamura was getting slightly tipsy as well, although he was much more composed than Kasamatsu had been, and Hayakawa seemed to get a lot happier as more time passed. Kobori still seemed to be fairly sober.

When the duo had returned, Kise saw a piece of paper curled in between Kasamatsu’s fingers. Moriyama looked simultaneously proud and smug. Before Kise could even question what had happened, Kobori chimed in, his voice knowing.

“Again?” he said bemusedly, watching the two of them settle the drinks across the table. “You’re like a different person, Yukio.”

“It was a guy this time,” Moriyama tittered proudly, plucking the strip from Kasamatsu’s fingers before he could so much as blink. He tossed it at the space on the table between Kise and Kobori, although neither of them bothered to pick it up. “And _I_ got to flirt with the lovely bartender while our dear Yukio was wooed by another gentleman.”

Kise spat out his drink in shock, looking up at them with wide eyes. “You--he what?” In disbelief he glanced between the two, but Kasamatsu didn’t look any more out of the ordinary than usual, and Moriyama... Moriyama caught his eyes, his gaze lingering for longer than strictly needed as he pursed his lips in thought. He looked mildly contemplative, and mildly _mischievous._

Moriyama then moved to roughly bump Kasamatsu back into the seat, this time not giving him time to reposition himself before he squeezed in as well, closer than was necessary. The result had Kise now with his shoulder pressed against the wall where Moriyama had been before, but with Kasamatsu partially seated sideways in his lap because Moriyama had decided to take up half of the space.

“M--Moriyama-san!” Kise cried, freezing when Kasamatsu slipped further between his thighs, his feet hovering inches above the seat beside them. Moriyama ignored him in favor of turning his attention back toward the three on the other side of the table. “That--Moriyama-san! Help--”

Kasamatsu seemed fairly content where he was, and Kise was left on his own to remedy the problem because the rest of them had mostly settled for watching them in amusement.

“Sorry,” Moriyama continued, not sounding sorry at all. He went on to explain his experiences in his absence. “She was very pretty. Alas, I wasn’t lucky enough to get her number but…”

Kasamatsu turned back to face him, leaving Kise little else to do other than allow it, holding his breath from the very significant lack of distance between them. He couldn’t back up much further, seeing as his head was already touching the bench behind him, and Kasamatsu apparently wasn’t keen on moving.

He twisted slightly, boldly reaching up to press his palm against Kise’s face. His eyes were scalding, bright and blue as he’d never seen with an endless depth to them. He settled for merely staring, and Kise couldn’t tell if he was thinking of something to say or if he was only unfocused and Kise happened to be directly in front of him.

Was this how he had gotten another person’s number? Caught their attention? With his eyes light and beautiful, but as piercing as always, a subtle curve to his lips that begged for attention to be paid to them? Or was it the gentle tilt of his head that gracefully showed off the hard line of his jaw and the length of his neck? He was unfairly jealous when he thought he wanted to be the only one to see Kasamatsu like this, curious but attentive, bold and daring and unlike his usual cautious, guarded self.

“You’re so prett--y,” Kasamatsu complimented, a slight stutter in his words. Kise tensed as he leaned impossibly closer, sliding his hand up to run through Kise’s hair. His other arm was against the wall, balancing him so he didn’t topple backward. “You’ve always been s--o handsome.”

Kise completely forgot how to breathe, even as he felt the hotness of Kasamatsu’s own breath wash over his lips. His hands couldn’t do much more than rest limply against the cushion of his seat, torn between curling his fingers against his palms and reaching out to hold onto the man before him.

“And _there’s_ the flirting,” Moriyama said over Hayakawa and Nakamura’s loud laughter, the two lost in their own world. Two out of the three oldest seemed to be holding themselves the best, even though it wasn’t the most accurate estimate because Kise hadn’t even bothered to drink tonight. “I was waiting for that to come out.”

Kise gathered his bearings, his self-control and own personal emotions and pushed Kasamatsu away from him, a little rougher than was required. He nearly tumbled into Moriyama, but the other caught him quickly enough, sending Kise a shocked glance.

Kise smiled until his eyes creased closed, offering an apology. “Sorry, Yukio-san, you were kind of heavy,” he lied, because worrying about Kasamatsu’s weight wasn’t even on his list of concerns. He was more worried about allowing himself to act out of character, of letting himself give in to how willing Kasamatsu was to be held by him. “And you’re drunk. You should eat.”

With an irritable grumble, the other acquiesced, seeming to almost instantly forget about what had just transpired. Kise wished he could convince himself that it didn’t bother him how easily the other switched gears. He wished he was better at this--he thought after hiding everything for so long, he’d simply get used to wanting what he couldn’t have.

He was wrong, apparently.

Moriyama watched him for a moment, as did Kobori, as Kise started to eat as well. Had they been anyone else, he would have known the looks meant nothing significant. However, they knew him almost as well as Kasamatsu did, and were not as oblivious as the subject of his affections was when it came to this. It was completely plausible that they had caught on.

Maybe he should get a drink, too.

.

Either Kise’s wild imagination was conjuring up ridiculous scenarios, or Kobori and Moriyama were purposefully setting him up with their best friend, because he somehow ended up with a drunk Kasamatsu Yukio leaning against him as they waited for a cab home. All they had left him with was a short goodbye, the address to Kasamatsu’s apartment, and a promise to text Moriyama when they had gotten home safely.

“Ugh,” Kasamatsu groaned, leaning more of his weight on Kise’s side as he struggled to keep both feet planted firmly on the ground. “I know-- _know_ I’m not spinning, but it feels like I am, a little bit.”

Kise glanced down at him just in time to watch his head fall tiredly against his shoulder, his eyes drooping closed. His eyelashes weren’t as long as his, but they were short and very dark, and the way they fanned over his flushed cheeks definitely did a number to his previously controlled pulse. “You know, I didn’t think you’d be such a funny drunk, Yukio-san,” Kise started, wagering a conversation to hide his vibrating nerves.

Kasamatsu frowned at that, taking a brief minute to gather an appropriate response. “I’m not _funny,_ ” he grunted out, looking abundantly more offended than he should have been. He had meant it as a compliment. Sort of. “Are you making fun of me? I swear--”

He pulled away from Kise a little too quickly, the force of it combined with his new sense of vertigo nearly knocking him flat on the ground. Kise darted over to catch him quickly, his eyes wide as a worried sound escaped his lips, and he barely made it in time to stop him from smashing his head into the brick wall behind him.

He had braced one arm behind Kasamatsu’s head and hurriedly wrapped the other around his shoulders, tucking him against his chest as Kasamatsu teetered backward, taking both of them with him. Kasamatsu grunted when Kise fell heavily against him, one of his hands fisting into the end of his jacket.

“Nice save,” Kasamatsu laughed heartily into his chest, like it was the funniest thing in the whole world, but it was muffled from the fabric of his clothing. Kise slowly pulled away, placing his arms on either side of his head to simultaneously balance himself and make sure the other was okay.

“Whoa--a,” Kasamatsu drawled, his eyes lined with mischief, sharp and stunning. A coy grin spread over his lips and Kise barely had time to lean away before the other pulled whatever stunt he was planning. His arms wound his arms around his neck and he made sure to keep Kise pressed tightly against him. “Are you trying something too, Kise?”

Kise tensed from his head to his toes, struggling to free himself from Kasamatsu’s firm grip to no avail. He clung tightly, determined to leave no space between the two of them as if his life depended on it.

Luckily, he was saved by a car horn honking behind him, and the sound was enough to startle the both of them. Kise squirmed away to glance behind him, and sure enough, it was a taxi from the company they had called.

“Oh look, that’s our ride, come on let’s go,” he said in a rush, latching onto Kasamatsu’s wrist to drag him over.

Fortunately, Kasamatsu didn’t put up much of a fight getting into the car, and he settled comfortably in his seat. Kise repeated the directions to their driver, trusting Kasamatsu to buckle himself in.

As the car peeled away to the streets,  he realized with a start that leaving a drunk Kasamatsu to his own devices was the wrong decision. His unwarranted surprise came in the form of Kasamatsu casually leaning over to rest his head on Kise’s legs, caring little for anything that should stop him.

“You--Yukio-san, you should really sit up,” Kise whispered harshly, his patience and self-control wearing thin. He could only take so many times of the other being overwhelmingly affectionate toward him--especially when there was no way for him to even return it--before it wore him down.

“Just out of curiosity, are these pants new?” Kasamatsu slurred into his thigh in response, and at this point Kise was too scared to move him in fear of an increased lack of sobriety. It didn’t make sense, he knew that, but right now it was the main reason stopping him from jostling his senior. That, and, despite the frustration that came with it, he really enjoyed how Kasamatsu looked and felt leaning on his lap. He selfishly took advantage of this moment that the other might not even remember tomorrow.

Slowly, he placed his hand on Kasamatsu’s shoulder and rubbed soothingly, trying not to jump when he nuzzled against his leg like a cat. “No, they’re not new,” he answered with a short laugh, hoping the driver didn’t say anything about the lack of a seat belt on one of her heavily intoxicated passengers.

“Okay, good,” he continued conversationally, “so you wouldn’t mind if I maybe puked on them? Because I--”

He heaved a little and Kise had to hold back a scream of horror at the motion, and he almost missed the loud chortle their chauffeur gave at his near demise. Kise tried to slowly maneuver Kasamatsu back into his own seat, all the way muttering, “Okay, okay, up you go, Yukio-san, it’s more comfortable there, y’know, and there’s a window right there so if you feel sick you can--”

“You will _not_ puke out of my car,” the woman interrupted.

“--feel the breeze! And not throw up out of the window. Please don’t do that.”

Kasamatsu seemed to be trying to concentrate on his words, his face intent, but his eyes were focused more on the door handle on Kise’s side of the car than they were anything else. He nodded slowly to everything he was being told, but Kise was at least eighty percent sure it all went in through one ear and out of the other.

“I’m not _that_ drun--nk,” he added stubbornly, trying to cross his arms but somehow getting his wrist tangled in his newly buckled seatbelt instead. After only three seconds of struggling, he had glanced over at Kise, looking defeated and--and so very _sad,_ and Kise had to press his lips together to hide the overblown grin threatening to stretch across his face. Kise helped him out while trying not to burst into laughter, because he was _pouting_ at his predicament and it was so unbelievably cute.

“You are definitely very drunk, sweetheart,” their driver chimed in, sounding amused.

Kise turned toward the front for a moment after getting Kasamatsu settled, and he caught wrinkles under her eyes that signified a wide smile. He paused to give a small, tired one back.

Her eyes flickered back to the road. “It’s okay, honey. I get more drunkards in this car than I ever know what to do with. Your friend there serves enough entertainment to make up for some of ‘em though, I’ll tell you that.” She paused. “So long as he doesn’t upheave in my car.”

Kise felt a bigger grin curling over his lips, and it was much less forced than the last.

Kasamatsu, as if being hit with an earth-shattering epiphany, suddenly whispered, “Holy shit, I am pretty drunk,” and Kise trusted the woman to keep his obnoxious, unattractive snort at that between the two of them.

His phone gave two short buzzes, and Kise remembered that he was supposed to text Moriyama when they were close enough to Kasamatsu’s apartment. When he glanced at the sender, he was unsurprised that it was, in fact, Moriyama who had messaged him. Kise checked again on Kasamatsu, finding him slowly and unwillingly drifting to sleep against the window, and unlocked his phone to send a reply.

 

 

> How goes things? >__>
> 
> Received: 21:37

 

 

> he got his hand caught in the seat belt and almost cried (*ﾟﾛﾟ )/
> 
> Sent: 21:38

 

 

> but other than that, he’s been pretty good lol (๑´ㅂ`๑) our driver thinks he’s a hit.
> 
> Sent: 21:38

 

Kise had planned on putting his phone away and waiting for a response, but Moriyama must have been waiting readily for him to text back, because his responding message was instantaneous.

 

 

> !!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Received: 21:38

 

 

> PICTURES?????
> 
> Received: 21: 38

 

Bemusedly, Kise informed him that the opportunity had came and went, and that they were already nearing Kasamatsu’s place with an additional:

 

 

> that’s so mean, Moriyama-san! ヽ(´□｀。)ﾉ i thought you would be more worried about your friend!!! he’s already falling asleep though, so the moment has passed ~(>_<。)＼
> 
> Sent: 21:40 

 

 

> Ohohohoo~ are you trying to tell me that you wouldn’t have taken a picture of your beloved Yukio-san? (｡◝‿◜｡)  I’ve seen him drunk before, and he gets awfully cute~ Don’t you think so, Kise?
> 
> Received: 21: 42

 

Kise felt his cheeks go hot at the message and, as if on instinct, immediately glanced back over at the aforementioned person. His heart caught in his chest at the sight of Kasamatsu sleeping comfortably in the seat behind him, calm and serene. At some point he had turned back toward Kise so his face now rested on the top of the seat, and he was leaning against it in a way that had his cheek pushing upward to smush his eye closed. His mouth was open slightly but with the way his cheek was stretched, it looked all crooked and silly.

Kise swallowed, because Moriyama was right. Right now he looked… god, he looked unfairly adorable (and a little ridiculous), and Kise really, _really_ wanted to kiss him, to tug Kasamatsu back into his lap, lean down and kiss him. Kasamatsu had acted enough unlike his normal self, too, and that in itself made it more obvious that Kise was still wildly attracted to his ex-captain.

Kasamatsu was much less tense. His guards were let down for the most part, and he got more lenient, more open to laughing louder and harder at jokes that normally wouldn’t have gotten much more than a chuckle out of him, and he got _bold._ Not that he wasn’t already brave before, but when he was drunk, Kasamatsu got bold in the sense that he was flirty.

It was truly a sight to see, and Kise still couldn’t forget the moments when those heavy eyes and meaningfully sultry words were directed entirely on him. Belatedly, he wondered if there had been any genuineness to Kasamatsu’s drunk intentions.

With a grim smile, Kise realized that he had known all along that there wasn’t any extra meaning to it. Kasamatsu was just drunk, and Kise was no different from the next person who had garnered his attention. He had let himself get dragged into Kasamatsu’s pull because he desperately wanted to think that there was something there, something there for _him._

In the end, he was only left in a worse place than before, feeling like he had lost something along the way.

He sighed heavily, a delayed wave of exhaustion hitting him. For some reason, he had expected the cluster of potent feelings he had stuffed in the crevices of his heart to fade away over the years, to lose their shine and grow dull in the darkness. He expected them to eventually die out.

Tonight told him that time had not allowed them to lose their brilliance and luster, in the same way that encasing a fluorescent bulb in a blanket wouldn’t cause the light beneath to fade. The brightness would be muffled, but beneath the cover it would only shimmer just as loudly, and once the blanket was torn off again, the light would glow with the same intensity.

Apparently, Kise’s ‘blanket’ had been the simple notion that Kasamatsu never had nor would he ever love him the way Kise loved him. He had willingly tricked his heart into deceit tonight.

Lost in his thoughts, he nearly missed the cab rolling to a stop, and the driver’s announcement that they had arrived at their destination. Quietly and for a short few moments, he allowed himself to take in the sight of Kasamatsu sleeping soundly, his head having dipped down to his shoulder somewhere amid the ride.

With a soft sigh, he gave their driver the cost for their travels and opened the door to get out.

“You sure you’re okay, honey?” she asked as Kise wandered over to the other side. He felt her concerned eyes follow him. “Let me know if you need help--you gave me enough of a tip to warrant some, anyway.”

Kise smiled to show his appreciation, but replied with, “No, thank you, I’m okay,” as he opened Kasamatsu’s door and attempted to unravel his seat belt. For a moment, he pondered if he should simply carry him to his room, but he was hesitant of the other’s reaction to that.

On cue, Kasamatsu groaned softly in his sleep, waking to the sound of their hushed chatter and the sudden light of the car, most likely. He rolled his head in the opposite direction after realizing Kise had disappeared, and with wide eyes he looked up at him. “Ah.”

“Good morning,” Kise chirped, crouching down until his knees bumped against the floor of the car and he had to look up to see Kasamatsu for once.  “We’re at your apartment. If you ask nicely, I’m sure I could carry you--”

It had only meant to be taken as a joke, but Kasamatsu cut him off before he could even finish, twisting his body so his feet dangled over the side. Quickly, Kise rose to stand so he had more room, brushing away the twinge of hurt that came with being casually disregarded. Was it really such a repulsive thing to be asked? To be carried by him? Did Kasamatsu see him in such a platonic light that even the slightest implication of romance had him carelessly brushing him off?

“‘M fine,” Kasamatsu mumbled, rising to his feet. He tilted sideways slightly despite his words, and Kise instinctively reached out to grab hold of his waist to keep him from toppling over. He felt Kasamatsu’s gaze burning into him, but he persistently avoided it.

“You don’t look very sturdy, Yukio-san,” he joked, pulling away without looking at him. To further avoid contact, he leaned back down into the car, offering a, “Good night! And thank you for the ride,” before closing the door fully and backing away from the vehicle.

The driver pulled away from the sidewalk and he glanced out to the street and neighborhood, inquiring, “So, where do we go from here?”

The question somehow held the weight of two separate meanings, and Kise had to swallow to soothe the lump in his throat. Kasamatsu tugged on his jacket to get his attention, and Kise glanced down at him, his nose more specifically.

It was quiet for a moment, even after Kise had hummed his acknowledgement. He saw Kasamatsu narrow his eyes and turned to gaze out to the street again. “You’re not looking at me,” Kasamatsu stated, sounding incredibly coherent for someone who couldn’t stand without support less than a minute ago.

“Well, you should get home, Yukio-san,” Kise dodged. With a feeling of dread, Kise let Kasamatsu curl his fingers into the front of his shirt, slowly but tightly. He avoided his eyes regardless, deciding that he’d be too drunk to do much else than fall over himself. Not to mention, he doubted that he’d remember the majority of tonight anyway.

“You…” he tried, and Kise could picture his brows furrowing together as he tried to sort through the vocabulary in his head to pick the right words. His fingers twitched, and one of the buttons on his shirt slid out of the slit in his collar. There wasn’t much Kasamatsu could do to ruffle him.

“You should kiss me.”

Kise nearly choked on the air, whirling around to face Kasamatsu in surprise. He looked unperturbed when Kise actually braved catching his eyes, and the lack of humor on his face was more than enough to keep his attention. "You--I should what?" He swallowed the dryness in his mouth, forcing out a chuckle. "Yukio-san, you're really--"

"--drunk," he finished for him, his grip loosening slightly. "Mm. I am definitely not co--m--completely sober," he agreed, glancing down to watch his own hands as he fiddled with Kise's shirt. His body swayed slightly, as if it was physically agreeing with the both of them.

"But I sleeped--sleep--I _slept_ for a bit and feel better. A little better, I feel a little better." He stumbled over his words the same way he'd be stumbling over his own to feet if he attempted to walk again, but he sounded determined to get the words out. If Kise interrupted, he'd probably just get mad at him, so he kept quiet for the time being.

“And I’m not stupid, Kise,” he added fiercely, holding onto Kise’s gaze and refusing to let go. “I know, I already _know._ I have known for a while, too. I’m not stupid.” He repeated the last part as if saying it caused him pain, his eyes sliding downward.

Kise tried to change the topic. “Yukio-san, you’re still drunk, let’s just get you--”

“No,” he said stubbornly, looking up at him again. He leaned closer, twisting his hands to lay them flat on his chest. “Not until you do something about it. About the thing I said before.” He glanced meaningfully down at his mouth.

Kise breathed out shakily, his chest deflating as the pleasant warmth of Kasamatsu’s palms seeped into his skin.

"You're going to regret it when you wake up," Kise whispered, overwhelmed with the desire and need to touch him in some way, to hold his waist, his hands or cup his face in his hands. He held back, and his internal struggle made itself known in the strain of his voice. He scrambled desperately for another excuse. "I'm not completely convinced you know it's me right now."

“I know, you’re Kise Ryouta,” he continued casually, his eyes still focused intently on his lips. He licked his own, and Kise couldn’t have stopped himself from staring at the movement even if he tried. “You’re the idio--idiot from my old basketball team that I’ve wan--nted to kiss since before I graduated high school, but couldn’t.

“I won’t regret it.”

Kise’s heart stopped for a moment, kicking the breath out of his lungs like it was overdue on rent. He couldn’t manage to steady his breathing after that, but had yet to give in and acquiesce with Kasamatsu’s demand.

"So," Kasamatsu continued when Kise made no move to do anything, pressing his palms against Kise's cheeks until his lips pursed together. Kise furrowed his brows together at that. Kasamatsu grinned up at him, sliding his hands back down to his neck.

"Be braver than me."

Kise could barely stop himself from gently framing Kasamatsu’s face in his hands, the thrum of his heart in his chest making it known that it had definitely skipped several beats. Kasamatsu looked pleased at the progress, content with Kise’s thumb brushing over the soft skin of his cheek.

He leaned forward to bump their noses together, relishing at the sight of Kasamatsu’s eyes fluttering closed in anticipation. Not only was this a moment Kise had hoped to have shortly after he had first been branded as the ace of Kaijou, but it was something Kasamatsu revealed as a desire as well. And now they could both have it, have their longing be sated, at least for now.

Kise tilted Kasamatsu’s head slightly and pressed his lips to his forehead, moving his thumb away so he could follow with a kiss to his cheek. When he pulled back, he couldn’t hold back a laugh at the displeased expression on Kasamatsu’s face.

“Tomorrow,” Kise was quick to say in his defense, letting his arms drop back to his sides. “Tomorrow, when you’re yourself, and if you still want to. If not--”

“‘When you’re yourself,’ he says,” he muttered bitterly to himself, frowning as he stalked over to his apartment gate. He continued grumbling to himself as he pried open the lock, somehow keeping steady as he pulled the gate open. “So I’m an alien right now?”

Kise let out a bark of laughter at that, following behind him lest he end up falling over. “You’re _drunk_ right now, Yukio-san. Is it bad that I want to kiss you when you’re focused completely on me?”

Kasamatsu flushed heavily and walked quickly up the walkway, and Kise followed him with a satisfied grin. “You--don’t say that stuff!” he snapped, attempting to hurriedly unlock the building’s door before Kise made it to him, but failing miserably. His keys clattered to the floor, and Kise strolled over just in time to pick them up, looking smug as he unlocked it for him instead.

He got a slap to the chest for his efforts, and Kasamatsu’s aggravated huff as he pushed open the door. “Second floor,” he told him, making his way to the staircase. Kise followed closely behind.

“So if you’re waiting until to--omorrow,” Kasamatsu started, leaning his back into Kise’s chest as he unlocked his apartment door until Kise was certain his erratic pulse rumbled through his spine, “you might as well stay over.”

.

Kise woke up to the sound of water running and a sore neck. His bed was unfamiliar and not as comfortable as he’d remembered, and it took him a quick glance at his surroundings to process that he was not in his own home, nor a bed.

He glanced up to see Kasamatsu in the kitchen, filling a pot of coffee with water, and remembered that he had stayed the night in his apartment. “Good morning,” he mumbled tiredly, startling Kasamatsu.

He turned around to look at him, staring at his face for a moment before his eyes flicked up to his head. With a small smirk, he said, “Your bedhead is atrocious,” and turned back to his morning drink.

Kise realized several minutes later that he should have been offended, but by the time it set in his sleep-clouded mind, he decided he didn’t really care anymore.

He rose to his feet, taking in the appearance of the apartment around him. It was fairly plain, fairly neat, and fairly average. Nothing stood out too much, nothing ornate enough for him to ask about. Kise wandered over to Kasamatsu in the kitchen, pushing his luck by pressing much closer into his space than he needed to.

“All better now, Yukio-san?” Kise asked slyly, narrowly avoiding a sharp elbow to the gut. “Ah! It’s not even noon and you’re already so violent!” When Kasamatsu raised his mug with a scowl as if he were about to chuck it at him, Kise wisely shuffled away and stopped talking.

Kasamatsu turned back to the counter, reaching up to grab a container of ground coffee in his cabinets. “You want some?” he offered, closing the cabinet door.

Kise wrinkled his nose. “Black coffee? No cream or sugar?” He nodded. Kise made a disgusted face. “No way, that’s so bitter!”

Kasamatsu narrowed his eyes and clicked his tongue. “You know, as a guest in someone else’s place, you’re supposed to be courteous.” He went about making himself a cup, turning his focus away from Kise.

“Sorry,” Kise apologized, watching curiously as Kasamatsu tiredly moved about his kitchen. He was still in his pajamas, a simple white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. The fact that the whole situation was so casual, like it was common for them to wake up like this in the morning made Kise feel light and warm. It felt like he already belonged here.

“And if by ‘all better’ you mean ‘not hungover’,” Kasamatsu started, reaching up to rub at his eyes and yawn, “then yes, I’m all better.”

After another moment, Kasamatsu glanced at him from the corner of his eyes before quickly looking ahead of them. He fiddled with the rim of his mug. “I wasn’t _that_ drunk,” he mumbled, sounding insulted.

Kise grinned widely, a laugh escaping his lips. “You actually said that exact thing when you were drunk.”

Surprised, Kasamatsu spun around to face him, his eyes wide and brows raised high. The genuine shock in his expression startled him as well. “Did I really?” he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Kise nodded, watching as Kasamatsu reached up to smack his forehead with a long groan. “God, I would do that,” he said to himself, dragging his hand over his face. “What an idiot.”

As he turned back to fill his mug, Kise realized that now was his chance to test his bravery again. He was going to make up for that short burst of courage he’d been unable to properly use all those years ago, when he’d been infatuated with everything his captain was but unable to admit it aloud to him. This time, _this time_ he would say it.

With the new resolve came his body’s reaction to it, from the heavy pulse of his heart in his ears to the nerves shaking in his fingertips. He inhaled a long breath, taking a step toward the other.

“You--You also said,” he started, wanting to curse his sudden stutter but losing the chance to when Kasamatsu turned back around to face him, his expression open and listening. Unrealistically, he worried that he’d choke on his tongue before he could get the words out. “When I--since high school, you told me that you wanted--ah, the same thing, that you, too--”

He cut off his words to breathe out shakily, getting discouraged by the utter confusion on Kasamatsu’s face. Nervously, he rubbed his fingers against his thigh, the motivation to continue speaking escaping through his every pore. Maybe--Maybe this wasn’t the right time still, it was stupid to bring it up again when Kasamatsu obviously didn’t remember what he was talking about. He had been drunk, so of course he probably wasn’t even thinking straight, it didn’t mean anything, he hadn’t meant it, he didn’t feel the same.

It was stupid to bring it up. Bitter tears burned in his eyes, a wave of self-deprecation knocking his confession right out of him. He shouldn’t have brought it up again, not when he couldn’t even form the words to say it right.

“Whoa, hey, hey,” Kasamatsu said softly at the sight of tears in his eyes. Kise rolled his lips together, reaching up to wipe away the cause of his blurred vision. Kasamatsu stopped him, curling his fingers around his wrist and pulling his arm back down. “What did I say? If I said something out of place, it’s okay to tell me, I won’t be mad.”

This was so embarrassing, being caught about to cry and lacking the ability to explain himself without his voice wobbling. He avoided the overwhelming concern in Kasamatsu’s eyes and looked toward the floor. He wanted to say something, _anything,_ but for some reason even the thought of speaking up had tears fogging up his eyes even more.

Quietly, Kise dropped his head onto Kasamatsu’s shoulder, feeling the urge to disappear. He wasn’t expecting to cry so easily, but that self-doubt had hit him harder than he thought it would, and everything only seemed to spiral down from that point.

“What did I say in high school?” he tried again, reaching up to lay his hand on the back of his head. Kise slowly wrapped his arms around his shoulders, burying his face further into his shirt as if it could help him hide. Kasamatsu responded by slowly running his fingers through his hair, languid and soothing. “I wanted what you did?”

Kise nodded slowly, sniffling.

Kasamatsu hummed in response. “And what exactly was that?”

Kise tensed noticeably, and Kasamatsu paused in massaging his scalp. “Was it that bad?” he asked, receiving no answer. Kasamatsu sighed softly. “You’re gonna have to help me out, Kise.”

He swallowed loudly, fingers curling around Kasamatsu’s shoulders. He tried to mumble it into his shirt, but Kasamatsu just made him speak up. Somehow, he managed to get the words out.

“...said that you wanted to kiss me.”

The silence after that dragged on for what felt like minutes, but in reality was a mere few seconds. “Oh,” he responded with, his hand stilled amid his hair.

In a panic, Kise made to pull away, trying to say _I’m sorry_ and _please don’t hate me_ and _just forget about it_ all at once but he couldn’t force even one of his apologies out, let alone all of them.

To his shock, he felt Kasamatsu’s body jerk beneath him as Kise attempted to lean away from him, and something that sounded like… like a _laugh_ escape his lips. Kise went to say something despite the probability of his voice sounding hoarse, but Kasamatsu beat him to.

Apparently he _had_ , because now there was a wide smile stretched over his lips beneath his attempt at covering it with the back of his hand, and he was trying to tuck his chin against his shoulder to hide the laughter bubbling in his chest.

Kise was… confused, and more than a little hurt. It must have shown on him like an open book, because Kasamatsu was quick to calm himself and turn his attention toward Kise.

“That confession didn’t go as smoothly as you were hoping, did it?” he asked, failing to force down the quirk of his lips. Kise pursed his lips together, deciding that _no, this had gone horribly and I can’t believe you made me so unbelievably nervous._ At the very least, Kasamatsu wasn’t entirely grossed out.

“You should kiss me,” Kasamatsu said suddenly, smiling in amusement when Kise’s looked at him with wide eyes.

“That was--”

“I know,” Kasamatsu interrupted. “I remember now.”

Kise spent a while just staring at Kasamatsu, glancing back and forth between his eyes like the scene would change at any given moment. Hesitantly, he leaned forward, feeling giddy when Kasamatsu didn’t move away. Instead, he--

\--shoved a wad of tissues at his face, telling him that he needed to blow his nose first because he looked gross.

Kise sputtered in shock as he spun around to grab his coffee and wandered off, failing to catch the pieces of cloth before they all scattered on the floor. “That’s--you’re so  _mean_!” he cried after him, but still gave in and blew his nose after wiping his face clean.

Kasamatsu returned suddenly with another tissue, reaching up to grab Kise’s nose with a grin and pull him down to his height. “For future reference, I generally don’t lie when I’m drunk,” he explained, leaning up to press his lips to Kise’s forehead. With wide eyes, Kise allowed him to do as he pleased, feeling a sense of deja vu when he proceeded to kiss his cheek next.

“Maybe when you’re yourself, you can try another confession.”

Kise gaped, nearly getting a mouthful of tissue when Kasamatsu pulled away from him. “That’s so _cruel!_ You’re the worst, Yukio-san, the _worst!_ ” he complained, but he really couldn’t feel angry at the way Kasamatsu’s features were melded into the brightest form of happiness, regardless of the amusement being at his own expense.

He laughed as he walked away, but Kise was determined not to let him go again, and immediately gave chase.

For the next few weeks that Kise visited Kasamatsu’s apartment, every time he’d walk through the door, his eyes would almost instantly settle on the kitchen, smiling as he did so. He’d play out the scene of their first kiss, of him, filled with the energy he had lacked beforehand, running after Kasamatsu, spinning him around and gathering him in his arms like they didn’t have any time in the world. For weeks he’d grin stupidly at the memory of tilting Kasamatsu nearly in half just to make sure he kissed the life out of him, just to make sure the moment wasn’t wasted.

And for weeks, Kasamatsu would smack him every time he caught it, telling him that he looked like an idiot, but smiling just the same as he did so.

It had taken years for Kise to finally reach that ‘something more’. As it turned out, Kise would have waited as long as it took if Kasamatsu was guaranteed to end up in his arms each time.

**Author's Note:**

> the end is disgustingly cheesy fi ght me about it


End file.
